


bloom.

by yananvation



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Body Dysmorphic Disorder, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Kissing, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Sad Hwang Hyunjin, Weight Issues, jeongin just wants hyunjin 2 love himself, they r dating the open ending is in ref 2 mental health issues, this is actually rly soft don’t let the tags disturb u, this is highkey just me venting thru hyunjin and wanting a jeongin in my life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:28:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24599047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yananvation/pseuds/yananvation
Summary: Hyunjin always found a growing fondness towards Jeongin, like a sprout in the midst of his heart. Behind all the organs, the veins, and the vessels, was a little flower bud begging to bloom.
Relationships: Hwang Hyunjin & Yang Jeongin | I.N, Hwang Hyunjin/Yang Jeongin | I.N
Comments: 15
Kudos: 56





	bloom.

“What are you doing?” Hyunjin lazed about the bed, wispy limbs sprawled across it while he laid on his back. He curiously admired Jeongin’s hunched form over his torso. He had folded Hyunjin’s t-shirt up to reveal his stomach, something he wasn’t keen on due to the slight pudge he had managed to build up over the last few weeks. Jeongin assured him he still looked beautiful though. He couldn’t find it within him to argue when he looked up at him so fiercely when he said it, gaze hardened and lips tightly wound together.

Hyunjin always found a growing fondness towards the other, like a sprout in the midst of his heart. Behind all the organs, the veins, and the vessels, was a little flower bud begging to bloom. Hyunjin was not one to avoid his feelings, so he nurtured them. He watered them every day, gave them sunlight, and love. He wanted to see how pretty this tiny sprout could become. He would let Jeongin do whatever he liked to him, if only for a fleeting touch or a warm smile in return. That would feed the friend inside his heart, who would gratefully accept any gift given with the welcome of a new leaf. 

“I’m doodling, you fool,” Jeongin quipped, purposely pressing the cold felt tip of his marker deeper into Hyunjin’s flesh.

Hyunjin yelped, features scrunching into a cringe of disdain as he lifted his head to narrow his eyes at Jeongin. “Hey, that shit’s cold!” he shielded his belly from Jeongin’s nefarious intentions, folding his arms over it. “You’re banned from drawing there due to tummy crimes.”

Jeongin laughed, pitching forward to rest his forehead against Hyunjin’s forearm. Fits of giggles erupted from his lips, a never ending symphony that blessed Hyunjin’s undeserving ears. He felt the little friend in his heart preen at the sound. “Oh, I’ve been arrested due to crimes against the tumby wumby! Please, take me away, Officer Hwang!”

Hyunjin couldn’t stop the smile spreading from ear to ear, a toothy grin that stretched his cheeks till they ached. “And where should I take you, hm?”

Jeongin gently nudged Hyunjin’s arm with the tip of his nose. Hyunjin complied, moving so his hand was now tangled in the messy tresses of Jeongin’s curls. Jeongin let out a sigh of content, hot breath tickling Hyunjin’s stomach. He pressed his lips to the skin, littering his belly in petal light kisses. He then shifted so he was hovering over Hyunjin, lips still attached to his skin. He trailed them up his torso, smiling into the flesh as he felt Hyunjin’s lungs heave and rattle as each breath hitched in his throat. He crawled upwards till he was situated just above him, elbows braced on either side of the pillow underneath Hyunjin’s head.

“In your arms, perhaps?”

Hyunjin let out a breathy chuckle of disbelief, timidly dodging Jeongin’s intense gaze. He caved in on himself, attempting to tuck his limbs closer to make himself as small as he could. He didn’t like how he could feel the budge of his stomach, the way it squished against his own flat one. Jeongin wasn’t having it though, plopping down on his hips and sitting back up straight. He placed his hands on the expanse of Hyunjin’s stomach, using his fingertip to idly trace the lines he’d made with his marker earlier. Hyunjin sucked in his stomach, futilely attempting to dodge his touch.

“Hyunjin, you can tell me when I make you uncomfortable.”

“I’m not uncomfortable-“ Jeongin cut him off with a glare, causing Hyunjin to flinch and shrink further into the dips of the pillow.

Jeongin sighed, “I don’t like playing this game of cat and mouse anymore, Hyunjin.” he gingerly reached out and wrapped his willowy fingers around Hyunjin’s palm. They barely encased it, his hand much larger than Jeongin’s small fingers could cover.

Hyunjin had always appreciated their difference in size, liking how he could feel like he was protecting Jeongin simply by standing beside him. But in truth, Jeongin always made him feel small. Not in a bad way, though, don’t misunderstand him. He felt like he could be vulnerable with him, frail and delicate like the flower bud in his chest. Like if he shattered, Jeongin would hug him tight till his pieces melded back together. Jeongin would hold him in his palms like a ladybug, cooing and smiling down at him like he was the most precious thing in the world to him. Some sleepless nights, he’d lay in his bed and wonder if he was.

“How many times have we kissed now, hm? Twice? Or shared moments like this? Done things like this? I can’t- I can’t go on being a pawn in this silly game anymore. Just tell me if you want this, if you want us.” he gazed down at him with pleading eyes. His voice fell to a hushed whisper, defeat and exhaustion imbuing each word. “I’m tired, Hyunjin. I just want to be yours.”

“That’s not why- I-“ Hyunjin’s frame quivered underneath him, lip wobbling as he struggled to push himself up towards Jeongin. Jeongin understood what he was poorly attempting to do and lowered himself down to rest on his chest, free hand finding purchase beside Hyunjin’s head so their eyes could still meet. Hyunjin squeezed Jeongin’s fingers, bringing them to his mouth so he could press his lips to each of his knuckles. He kept his eyes locked on Jeongin as he mumbled into the back of his hand. “I want this. I want this more than I want anything else in the whole wide world, Jeongie.” his brows canted downwards in desperation, leaning up to bump his forehead into Jeongin’s. ”I want you. I want us.”

Jeongin’s breath hitched, noses colliding as he needily grazed his lips against Hyunjin’s. “You don’t know how long I’ve waited to hear that,” he whispered, “Us.”

Hyunjin felt a smile bloom across his cheeks, “Us.”

* * *

“Why are we going up here, Hyunjin?” Jeongin tucked himself into his side, an arm loosely looped around Hyunjin’s waist as they ascended the final stairs to the roof. He smooshed his cheek against his shoulder, soft whines escaping his squished lips as he trudged alongside hyunjin. “I’m so sleepy, babydoll, can’t this wait till morning?” he drawled.

Hyunjin felt safe while they were pressed this close, Jeongin’s weight serving as a reminder as to who and what he has to live for. Still, he couldn’t help his mind wandering back to earlier in the night. He was lucky Jeongin had misunderstood his intentions, of why he was hiding himself. Though he had an inkling in him, a twang of something that made him wonder if he should confess what he’s been going through. Would Jeongin be angry? Would he agree with his insecurities? Would he kiss him and tell him it’s all in his head?

“The stars won’t be visible once the sun rises, dumbass.” Hyunjin draped his own arm around Jeongin’s shoulders, snuggly molding the smaller into his side. “Its supposed to be cute and spontaneous.”

Jeongin sent a spiteful jab right below his rib cage, eliciting a quiet ‘ _oof_ ’ from Hyunjin as they approached the door to the rooftop. “And it couldn’t have waited till we’ve been dating for more than 3 hours?” Jeongin swiftly stepped in front of him and leant his back against the door, blocking Hyunjin. “Besides, I have my own galaxy to adore right here.” snaked his hands up Hyunjin’s shirt, spreading his fingers out across his ink covered stomach with a lazy smile.

“How romantic,” Hyunjin deadpanned, grasping his wrists to tug them away from his ugly stomach. “but I wanna watch the stars.”

Jeongin puffed out his cheeks, cutely jutting out his kiss bruised bottom lip. “Did you even notice what I drew on you?”

“Would you be pissed if I said I was preoccupied with staring at your pretty face?”

Part of it was true. He really hadn’t meant to be so distracted, but Jeongin always looked so good when he was focused. He stuck his cute little tongue out of the corner of his mouth, and his brows furrowed just enough to make Hyunjin melt. Though, to be completely transparent, he was worrying over how he stared at his stomach. How his eyes trailed the bloated parts of it, the way the fat bunched and rolled. The way his skin was marred with stretch marks.

“Absolutely, you prick.” Jeongin then removed his hands from Hyunjin’s grip. He swiftly unlocked the door and slunk out to the roof.

Hyunjin followed him out like a child clinging to their friends coat tail. A vine winding up a tree to reach the sun atop the canopy.

“Are you mad at me?” he asked softly.

Jeongin stood in the center of the roof, head tilted back to bask in the starlight raining down upon them. He looked ethereal. Messy bedhead blowing softly in the night breeze, skin glowing beneath the sky. He was a dream.

“No,” he replied quietly, eyelids fluttering shut as he swayed himself side to side. “It’s nice out here, you were right.”

“Can you show me what you drew?” Hyunjin approached him, hands finding purchase on his lithe hips to stop his movements. He tilted downwards to peck his shoulder, “Want the artist to explain his masterpiece.”

Jeongin scoffed, a smirk quirking at the side of his lips. “Bold of you to assume you’re my masterpiece.” he turned in Hyunjin’s loose grip, his own hands fingering the fraying hem of Hyunjin’s t-shirt. “There’s not much to explain, yknow. It’s pretty self explanatory once you see it.” he bunched up the fabric, the aged threads rough against his fingertips as he raised it to reveal his work. “I drew stars and planets and all that aesthetic shit...” He grunted in disapproval as he watched Hyunjin suck in his stomach on instinct. “Hey, what’s up with that?”

Hyunjin anxiously nibbled on his bottom lip, eyes darting away from Jeongin’s fervent expression. “It’s... It’s nothing, Jeongin.”

“Are you ashamed of me seeing your body?” he asked, allowing the shirt to slip from his grasp and slowly drift back down.

Hyunjin felt a fat lump lodge in his throat, unable to deny his words. Jeongin always had a knack for reading him, no matter how he hard he tried to keep him in the dark. Hyunjin then crumpled in on himself once more, folding his arms over his chest and effectively creating a gap of distance between the two. He shuddered as Jeongin’s hands fell from his hips, despair forming a moat around his heart as Jeongin removed himself from him with a frown.

Jeongin still stayed close, however. He hovered around him, not dauntingly so, but like he was showing Hyunjin that he was there. He was there if he just reached out and he’d gladly be tugged back into his orbit if he so chose.

“I think you’re beautiful, Hyunjin,” Jeongin whispered, “I love how you look, even when you glare at me when you’re cranky.” he attempted to joke, a small smile playing on his lips that Hyunjin failed to reciprocate.

He couldn’t believe him. He was ugly. Disgusting. Nauseating. He was fat and pudgy in all the wrong places. His face was too round and his jaw too wide. He had stretch marks and scars and moles and every inch of him was, was _gross_! Just plain gross! Unappealing in every way fathomable. Jeongin couldn’t be serious. He had to be lying, had to be pitying the poor sap because he wants to get laid or something.

“How can you look at me... Look at this, and think I’m still attractive? That I’m still- still worth something? You can do better than me... than this.” he gestured to his body, a hearty grimace paling his lips. “I’ve gained so much weight... I’ve gotten so ugly, I- I don’t even wanna think about how people are going to react when they see us together.“

Jeongin‘s brows creased in shock, mouth slightly parted as Hyunjin’s confession sunk into his skin. “What? Hyunjin, you’re gorgeous! You- I, I can’t begin to fathom how you can’t see it. Who cares if you gained a little weight? It’s not even all in your stomach, and don’t tell me it is! You say you’ve gained so much, but it’s just filled you out to make you look healthier. You’re not fat. You’re not ugly. You’re healthy. And you know what? Even if you were fat, even if you had whatever gut you think you do now, I wouldn’t care. I like you beyond how you look. So, please, just- just stop. Fuck, I- I...” he was left panting after his spiel, tears pooling in his eyes as his body shook. _Why was he shaking?_

“I know my words won’t change how you view yourself right now, nor do I expect them to. I- I can’t fix this and I know that.” Jeongin carefully began, an unsteady hand reaching out to cradle Hyunjin’s own. “But I need you to know that I’m not lying when I say these things. You don’t need to believe it yet, but just- just know it.” he gripped Hyunjin’s fingers tight, gently leading him into his space. “In my eyes, you’ll always be the most radiant man I’ve ever met.”

Hyunjin felt the pressure build behind his eyes, the wet stream of tears soon pouring down his cheeks. The heat of a bashful blush clawed onto his cheeks as he melded against Jeongin. He drifted into his embrace, allowing Jeongin to grasp at his hips as he nestled his head in the crook of his neck. Jeongin’s hand wound into Hyunjin’s hair, pads of his fingers massaging his scalp as he cradled him close. “Baby, hey... You’re okay, Hyunnie, I’m here.”

Hyunjin sniffled, moist skin sticking to Jeongin’s as his nose ghosted the veins protruding along his neck. He let out a quiet laugh, smiling lips pressing faint kisses to Jeongin’s steady pulse. “I know. Thank you.”

Hyunjin’s fragile little sprout had bloomed that night, beneath the light of a thousand stars and entwined in the arms of his lover. Between the soft brush of their lips and the tender strokes of their hands, Hyunjin felt it. Hyunjin may not think he’s attractive now, maybe he won’t ever think that. But he knows the blossom within his heart, the one that grew beautifully with time and endless care, may be the catalyst he needs to at least try. He owes that to it, and more importantly, to himself.  
  


**Author's Note:**

> hi this was a request i received in my cc almost a month ago and i FINALLY got to finish it. please let me know wht u thought cause i luved writing this a lot !!!! leave comments and kudos if u can 🥺🥺
> 
> also send me a req on my [ cc ](https://curiouscat.me/yananvation) if u want !!! but i gotta admit i’m pretty much hyunin/seungin/hyunseungin only fr romantic ships so i’m sorry if i don’t feel comfy doing it


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